» julian parker.

Ca t'amuse de jouer avec mon téléphone ?

morning sickness. sore breasts. i did it. i impregnaded someone.

no. your sister. ivy and i are in a secret relationship, going on 3 years. (YES. SLOAN.)

you ain't the boss of me.(like september. yeah, i'm happy, why wouldn't i be?)

she's been in my house for like 2 years. the kids have been calling me dad for a while now. i don't know on what planet y'all live on to think this shit wasn't serious.

can u do dna in hospital

how long the fastest

paternity

not my baby

my dad

maybe

?

Fbi faste

r

lev # pls

ur sis is wokring. $$ = priority this is usa. dude probably killed 83 women already

idk i found mugshots on google images. i guess its too late, i'm already going craycray.

she did. ur texting a ghost. everything is ok. we miss ya, but we will survive (and you better too.)

duuuuude, that's cruel. i would never   (i bought her an ice cream machine months ago while trying to woo her, it's seeing red right now, but allowing us to survive) (also having bf privileges makes it so i have many more ways to make her forget about   ) (please don't tell ur sister that i tried to buy her love with material things, she'd get piiiiiiiissed) (also i'm not saying i bang ur sister to make her forget food.) (i'm sorry, can u stop being related, it would be easier for me) (really i just act dumb and she gets angry at herself for thinking its cute and forgets about food for 1 second)

Yo.

AM I STILL WORKING? you know crime don't stop right? Pretty sure there's gonna be a rise in killer nurses and shit, so i'm pulling doubles trying to find one before my coworkers. The virus is like, the perfect cover for them, and the lack of beds the perfect motive. If you see something, text me first, before any other fbi agents you might know, ok?

I'm staying away from home, bc i don't want to infect the kids and the feotus. Also Sloan is being a bitch because she can't shop. Btw, if ur at the hospital in concord this week, she has an ultrasound, but i can't go and it's the one where they look in between my child's legs like creeps to see the kind of genitals it has. you could probably flash ur medical badge and get in. observe. idk.

i don't want to be that guy, julian, but ur sister and her boner-friend do not miss us at all right now and are probably practicing for earth's repopulation as we speak. i'm sorry for the loss of innocence, but you did my sister, so it's my duty to spread it in your face when someone is doing yours.

Thanks man! Beating your ass will be my pleasure  
We're camping in the backyard, took the whole pack with us, even the cat so it should be fine.

Don't worry, we're doing fine here Mati has a hard time understanding what is happening, but I've tried to explain the best I can and I'm keeping him busy. We still have animals to take care of (he's still asking for goats, btw) and he has made tons of drawings for the doctors, he's really proud of himself. He's also been helping me to write some songs, I think I have a few hits ready
Take care of yourself, you have a lot on your plate right now, I can handle groceries your family has to stay safe too

Dude, I love you but I ain't stepping a foot in a hospital right now, not even for your pretty face besides, I have everything I need right here, no worries, I'm staying put, enjoying pets, a nice bubble bath while you're hard at work. And grandma's cooking   (sorry, couldn't resist, I LOVE YOUUUUUUU  )

yo. i got the best idea in the world but ur sister keeps saying no.

listen to this pitch : after everything is over, we have a party. BBQ. Pool. BOUNCY CASTLE.

paternity

Min' says it's too childish, but, there's gonna be kids and i like bouncing.

this brings me to my second idea : renting out one of those trampoline room places. i didnt pitch it to ivy yet, but think about it.

my madre y ti abuela, gossiping while trying not to break a hip bc drunkass levy keeps jumping and falling besides them.

think of the hot dogs.

think of sloan falling and being stuck on the floor like a turtle that's laying on it's back.

i would be able to do so many things in a room full of trampolines maan.

i can already see ivy's eyes rolling when i tell her my idea, which means it's a great one brother.